The Comic Case of Nuclear Weapons : A Classic Indo-Pak Joke
If you haven’t read this article before you are really going to enjoy this:
During 1960’s to 1980’s, cold war between USA and USSR was such that if USA launches a Nuke-loaded missile, USSR’s satellite were capable of informing USSR army in 3 seconds,and in less than 45 seconds USSR would also launch its counter-missile.
See, what will be scenario for Indo-Pak war. Pakistan’s army decided to launch a Nuclear-missile towards India.They don’t need any permissions from their government, and they launched the missile.Indian technology is highly advanced, so, in less than 7-8 seconds, Indian army comes to know it and decides to launch more disastrous missile, but they need permissions from government of India.
They submit there request to Indian President.President, forwards it to Cabinet. Now, Prime Minister calls an emergency Lok Sabha session after three days.
After three days, when LS meets, due to several walk-outs and severe protest by opposition, meetings of LS was adjourned indefinitely.But, president asks for a quick decision.
Note that, Pak’s missile failed to take off due to unknown reasons. So, their attempts for launch is still on. Meanwhile, Indian govt were reduced to minority one because a party, giving outside support, withdraws support. Therefore first task is now to get majority.President asks PM to prove majority next week.
Meanwhile, an external affair’s spokesman requests Pakistan for some bilateral talks, at secretary and minister levels.
Next week government couldn’t get confidence vote and hence a care-taker government is on the way. Now acting PM decides to……, but wait wait, Election Commission says that a caretaker government wont take such decision because elections are at the door and this decision will affect votes.Then Supreme Court comes to the rescue of the PM, and says acting PM is authorized to take this decision. Note that, in between, one of the Pak missile was successfully taken off, and it fell 367 miles away from the target. Missile fell on a government building at 11:00 AM. But since no employee had reached office till then, so no casualties. Nuclear portion of missile was detached some where in flight.
Pakistan are now trying to get some good technologies from China, USA etc. government decides to launch similar missile, after all party meeting (note that this time all parties voted unanimously). It’s three months since army had seeked permission. Meanwhile some “pro-humanity”, “anti-nuclear” activists came on road against government’s decision. Human chains are being made in CA, LA and Washington for peace.
Some mails were sent to Indians mentioning “Please forward it to as much Indians as possible”.On Pakistan side, sometimes missile fails to take-off, some times payload gets detached from the missile during flight.Some missiles deviated from target due to technical failures or high-speed wind flowing over Rajasthan, these missiles were neutralised by Pak itself,as these missiles started moving towards Karachi/Beijing.
Once a missile (from USA) was used, but Pakistan forgot to change destination, so it went towards Russia. Russians first neutralized the missile and then they launched an N-missile towards Islamabad.
NOTE: Russian missiles never fail